Thursday, September 22, 2011

How to overcome lack of confidence with women

If you can't overcome your lack of confidence with women, you are invisible to them.
I know that this is a very harsh thing to tell you, but it's the reality.
Women are blind when it comes to weak guys.
Here are some symptoms of weakness in guys:
1. They will ask for relationship advices from the woman they are dating
2. They will lean too much on her (seek that she's ok with everything they are doing)
3. They will seek her approval of them (the mentality of "I'll win her attraction by being kind to her)
4. They will ask her to lead them and show them "clues" about attracting her
5. They will feel that their lives are incomplete unless she is included

Of course, there are thousands of other symptoms, these are the main ones.
How do you overcome them, how do you get over lack of confidence with women?
Well, you will need to grow, yes, you've read right, you must grow as a man and become mature.
And the only thing you need to do is apply these two tips to your life to become a strong unique man among so many weak guys.
These tips may sound very easy, and they are, but the hardest thing for most guys is the implementation part, you must apply them and take risks.
By the way, women are genetically encoded to seek "risk taking men", they can't stand a guy whose life is full of adventures and thrills.
If you are interested in reading some scientific research on the subject, this one is very complete and not only deals with the factors of risk taking in dating but also a lot of interesting information about women's dating tendencies ==> click here.
  • So, the first tips to overcome lack of confidence with women is to stop seeking their approval of you
This is the big elephant in the room that no one seems to be seeing.
Whenever you talk to a weak guy, he will tell you about his miseries with women and how they are "incomprehensible" to him and how it's "unfair".
In my thirty years in adult life, I've found that if you could boil a guy's trouble with women, you'd ultimately get this issue at the end: " he was seeking approval from her all the time".
Let me give you small examples to show you the difference between a guy who seeks approval and a guy who doesn't.
Let's say that a guy went to talk to an amazingly beautiful woman, and she seems to like him.
The approval seeking guy will do probably these:
1. He will call her a dozen times for a date
2. He will be nervous with his friends and loved ones because he is worried about her acceptance of him
3. He will be there an hour early
4. He will buy expensive clothes to show off to her
5. He will ask her to choose where to go
6. Her will take her to a fancy/expensive restaurant
7. He will compliment her a dozen times
8. He will brag
9. He won't tease her as he fear she may get upset
10. He will tell her how lucky he is
11. He will be shy when it's time to kiss her and will think that it will ruin everything
12. He will get angry at himself for not doing it
The list is very long indeed.
Now, the guy who doesn't seek her approval:
1. He will call her whiten four to five days because he found her phone number and her name in his shirt's pocket
2. He will come on time, not too late nor too early
3. He will wear the clothes he likes the most, his old jeans, his casual shirt
4. He will take her on a walk
5. He will not compliment her at all
6. He will tell her that she is very lucky to find such a great guy as him ( in a funny/sarcastic way)
7. He will kiss her at the end of the date, if she refuses, he will simply smile and go

Now, who's going to get the woman, the first guy or the second guy?
Who resembles you the most?
If you do as the first guy, you will be rewarded with loneliness and frustration, however, if you do as the second guy, you will be rewarded with lots of opportunities with women and a "dance card" full to the limits with gorgeous women who all wish you to call them back soon, in fact, most of them will not wait until you call them and will definitively call you first.
This is the harsh reality, accept it and do what works.
  • The second one is to make your life a constant adventure
This is very rewarding too, mostly to you and secondly to the woman you are going to be with.
Let's imagine that a weak guy copied the last instructions about not seeking her approval and he got the woman crazy about him, what now?
She will want to know him more and hang out with him all the time.
He doesn't know that this is a deadly trap to his attraction powers because the woman will know within a few days the harsh truth about him: he is fake!
The cover doesn't match the content!
He will leave her one choice: look for a real confident guy.
This is the reason why you must become adventure seeking, and I don't mean putting yourself in danger for the sake of women.
What I'm suggesting her is to get out of your boring habits:
Beer drinking in front of the TV your whole free time
Hanging with the same boring people over and over
Staying in the same place that your parents were born in or raise you in
Doing boring/low paying jobs because they are secure

Get out!
Do what it takes to make your heart beat faster than 70!
The most affordable and interesting thing to start doing is to say yes to everything.
I don't mean that if a beggar asks you for fifty bucks you would give it to him, no way, what I mean is if you've got an idea about going to a new club, don't procrastinate and think that you will be lame …, jump on the occasion and go out.
  • The third one (a bonus), get confident people around you
You will never overcome your lack of confidence with women while surrounding yourself with losers.
In his great book, Napoleon Hill talked about a very brilliant concept that most successful people do: the mastermind group.
You too should be in a mastermind group.
It's very easy:
First, you need to lower the time you pass with losers
Second, you need to notice guys that are successful with women
Third, approach them and tell them frankly that you think they are great with women
Fourth, pay them a drink and keep the conversation, most brilliant guys will never hide their knowledge, in fact, they will be glad to give it to you.
Fifth, ask them about places they hang out and frequent those same places.
You will notice within a few weeks of doing this that your self-confidence with women will raise immensely, you will become unstoppable with women.
The real secret to overcoming lack of self-confidence with women is: apply all these.
Here are some additional resources on the subject, please don't forget to comment on whatever you like here ;-)
This is probably the most advance course on flirting on the internet, I'm sure:
A website I've just found and that I really like:
And if you've got the time, print this one and read it all, I loved it and much of this article is found there too, so it's a kind of giving tributes where tributes are due:

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